The Shocking Oscar Nominations We Need To See Tomorrow Morning

And the nominees SHOULD be...

In less than 24 hours, social media’s own Bowen Yang and Rachel Sennott will announce the nominees for the upcoming 97th Annual Academy Awards. (For those who think that Yang and Sennott aren’t respected enough film stars for this honor, keep in mind that the 1983 Academy Award nominations were presented entirely by Chuck Mitchell, who played “Porky” Wallace in Porky’s.) While respected awards pundits such as “The Oscar Dudes” podcast, GoldDoink.predict/gamblingproblem?, and “The Ace” Erik Weber have already forecast most of the likely nominees, we still think there’s room for a few shockers on nomnomnom morning. So here’s three nominees we want to see shake up the Oscar race:

1. King Kong for Best Actor: King Kong has a career that dates back to 1933 and yet has never once received an acting nomination, an indignity that puts him in a group of never nominated thespians such as Donald Sutherland, John Goodman, and that guy who was the lead in Hot Dog: The Movie. While Kong has been the consummate screen star for almost 90 years, he’s never been better than in 2024’s Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire (aka The Collab), which earned $197 million at the domestic box office. What makes this nomination so exciting — aside from rewarding an overdue star— is that we’d get to see Kong face off for the award against his former co-star Adrien Brody, whom he shared the screen with in 2005’s King Kong. Variety must be salivating at the thought of an Actors on Actors YouTube video in which King Kong and Adrien Brody share anecdotes from the set about what a control freak Peter Jackson was, and Kong playfully ribs Brody about The Brutalist’s recent A.I. voice controversy before lifting The Piano star and splatting Brody on the ceiling in a gruesome display. You’re probably saying to yourself yes, of course King Kong deserves his first acting nomination and yes it would be hilarious to see him squish a fellow nominee on a YouTube show— but what about his co-star Godzilla? The film was known as The Collab for a reason, in that both actors equally commanded the screen and filled the theaters. Isn’t Godzilla going to be insulted if his SECOND BILLED IN THE TITLE co-star gets a nomination and the fire-breathing monster is left holding his tail in his hand on Thursday morning? Of course he’ll be! And that’s the beauty of it. The savvy folks over at Legendary Pictures could use that real life Oscar controversy as the plot for the next Kong and Godzilla movie. Just imagine an Academy-snubbed Godzilla stomping through the Vanity Fair Oscar Party, breathing his fiery breath at a Frances Fisher-hosted voters screening, and biting off the head of legendary Oscars host Billy Crystal— these are spectacles that would take the monsterverse to a new level of punditry-based destruction. Kong and Godzilla could have their ultimate big screen confrontation at the Kodak Theater itself, with Jack Nicholson (in his final onscreen role) grinning from the front row. This nomination would not only honor a legendary actor, but also plant the real life seeds for his next blockbuster. Make it happen, Academy.

2. Terrifier 3 for Best Visual Effects: While mega-budgeted blockbusters such as Dune and Wicked might be the favorites here, the Academy should absolutely leave room for the low-budget clown slasher whose special effects blew away anything else from the year. Specifically we’re talking about the scene in which the lead character of Art the Clown chainsawed a man in half via his asshole. Did anyone in Dune get their asshole chainsawed in half? What about in Conclave? The effect looked incredibly realistic, and movie audiences were unable to tell apart Terrifier 3’s cinematic asshole sawing from the asshole sawings that they’ve witnessed in their own lives. It’s the kind of effects wizardry— that lifts audiences into a world of magic, where they can truly believe that someone is being split in two by their anus— that best represent this category.

3. Kevin Costner as Best Director for Horizon: An American Saga Chapter 1: We’re hoping for this nomination not just because Costner deserves it for his gorgeously shot Western, or because an Oscar nomination would increase the chances that we’d someday get to see the unreleased Chapter 2. What we’re truly curious about is whether an Oscar nomination would be enough to get Kevin Costner to come out of hiding and risk being found by the various gangsters, loansharks, and other violent creditors that he borrowed money from to fund his $100 million multi-part failed epic. Is the lure of walking the red carpet, hobnobbing with fellow nominees like Timothee Chalamet, and getting some much needed nutrition at the Oscar Nominees Luncheon enough for Costner to risk being found by the various “old neighborhood guys” who want their money back plus a vig? I tend to think that a classic Hollywood star like Costner wouldn’t be able to resist the chance to hear his name called at the Oscars, even if it means getting whacked onstage while introducing the In Memoriam segment. (Which would make Costner the first actor to both introduce and then appear in the same In Memoriam tribute since one of the original Munchkins self-combusted at the 40th Academy Awards in 1968. Make history, Kevin!)

   Fingers crossed that voters give us at least one of these surprises on Thursday morning. We’ll certainly be watching! And of course, for all your box office and Oscars coverage, listen to The B.O. Boys podcast: